In Search of the Inner Lesbian

In Search of the Inner Lesbian

We met playing online backgammon and four hours later my white cotton panties were balled up on the floor, my feet were on the desk and I was having a colossal orgasm. I need to tell you right now that I am not that type of girl, or rather, was not that type of girl. I didn’t start having sex until I was almost twenty, I’d only managed to have the occasional small orgasm by masturbating and I didn’t really see what the big deal was.

That was before Paul. For the next two weeks my days revolved around emails, chatting online for hours and of course cybersex. But it wasn’t just the sex. He asked me questions and listened to what I had to say. He was interested in my opinions and ideas and he was able to express how he felt about more things than any man I’d ever met. He also gave the most incredible virtual massages. He’d start at my feet and by the time he got to my butt, I’d be soaked. I’d usually cum before he even got to my neck.

During one particularly hot session, I just had to hear his voice and I gave him my phone number. If I thought cyber sex was hot then phone sex was scorching. Paul’s voice was directly connected to my pussy. He could be telling me about the weather and I’d be wet. For the next month we talked each other into countless orgasms. It was a safe yet exciting way to explore a huge range of fantasies. I was very inexperienced and he seemed so knowledgeable that I was quite content to let him take the lead. Paul would introduce the fantasy and I’d try to jump in and play my part. He was good at being able to judge what was working for me and what wasn’t. Though in the safety of my apartment, there wasn’t much that didn’t get me going.

One topic that came up on a regular basis was girl on girl action. He had this theory that all women have an inner lesbian, sometimes they just need the right person to help discover her. It always made me a bit uncomfortable, but whenever we introduced another girl into our fantasy, he’d just explode. I decided it was just a harmless guy thing and didn’t really mind playing along.

I was the one who had to talk him into meeting in person. He said he was worried I would be disappointed, but I was getting cauliflower ears and I was missing real dates. I was madly in lust and I didn’t want it to be with just a voice. So we met. And two hours thirty-seven minutes later we were in bed. I’ve heard that sexual attraction is all about pheromones. It doesn’t matter how well you’ve connected in other ways, if the chemistry isn’t right, forget it. I guess we were just lucky because his H2 was made for my O.

And O-O-O-O-O fuck was the sex good. Beyond anything either of us imagined it could be. In the beginning I don’t know how either of us managed to keep our jobs, or friends or even find time to eat. One way we squeezed extra sex time into our day was to continue using the phone and pc for erotic play. Sometimes one or the other or both of us would have orgasms, but mostly we just used it as foreplay; a little heavy breathing or a slutty email or some hot chat to get us through the day.

Another advantage of our virtual sex life was that we had a wealth of well-developed fantasies at our disposal. At first it was only trash talk while we made love. He’d talk like the teacher to my little schoolgirl, or the cop and me the speeding driver trying to beat the ticket, or the bad daughter needing to be punished, or the hooker and the john. The choices were endless, but I was always the submissive. It wasn’t something we had ever discussed, that’s just where our comfort zone was and I truly enjoyed being his sex slave.

One day Paul came home from work and I was wearing a little plaid skirt with knee high stockings and black loafers, a white shirt that was two sizes to small and my hair was in pigtails. He went absolutely crazy and our sex life had an entirely new dimension to explore. We would create ‘scenes’ that would usually involve costumes and some sort of preamble before we got to the sex. Like I would get home an hour after I said I would and be wearing my schoolgirl outfit and we’d have a big fight before he fucked me into submission. Or I’d get dressed all slutty and go to a bar. I’d flirt with guys, get them to buy me drinks and do some dirty dancing. He’d watch all this from a booth then make sure they saw him giving me money then taking me out to the car to have sex in the parking lot.

One fantasy that I hoped would always stay just that was the whole other woman, inner lesbian thing. He knew I was uncomfortable with it and he seemed to be content with just having it as part of our trash talk. That was until he found out his cousin Lisa was coming to town for her holidays. He’d told me about her before; a buyer for a high end clothing store, over achiever, gave him his first blow job, likes girls more then boys. The thought of the three of us together drove him to distraction and he insisted that I put every effort into making it happen. That was our first really big fight, but at the time I couldn’t say no to him.

We arranged to have dinner at the hotel she was staying at, he was driving in and I walked over from the office where I was temping. I knew who she was as soon as I saw her. They both have the same long straight nose, straight blond hair, pale blue eyes and flawless skin, but Lisa is seriously built. Now I understand where the expression “built like a brick shithouse” comes from. I was hooked from the moment our eyes met and she knew it. She introduced herself and I wanted to hold onto her soft cool hand forever. She kissed my cheek and I vowed never to wash it off. Her scent and her voice were intoxicating and by the time Paul arrived for dinner I was completely under her spell. I wanted her like I’ve never wanted anyone else. I was gushing above and below the table and I was sure the entire restaurant could smell my sex. Somehow I managed to get through dinner and we all went up to her room. Paul must have thought his greatest fantasy was about to come true, but after we’d had a drink she kissed him and told him she doesn’t do boy cousins anymore and sent him on his way. It must have been devastating to him to get so close then have the rug pulled out from him, but at the time I was barely aware that he’d left.

“I’ve never been with a woman before” I told her.

“I know. We don’t have to do anything…”

“It’s not like that at all” I stammered, “I want to do everything, I just don’t know if I’ll know how.”

She smiled, took my face in her hands and kissed me. My legs turned to rubber and I sank to the bed. She stood in front of me and slowly started to strip. She undid her blouse and the powder blue semi cup of her bra barely covered her nipples. Would they be a pale pink like Paul’s? She undid her skirt and it fell to the floor. She stepped out of it towards me, turned around and bent down to pick up her clothes. The thong of her panties a thin blue line through the centre of her perfect peach shaped ass. She stayed bent over for a moment and I caressed her, leaned in close and inhaled her musky scent. She walked over to the chair and carefully laid her folded clothes over the arm, took off her high heels and walked slowly back. She’s so perfect, I thought, even her stay up stockings stay up. Somehow the rest of our clothes melted away and my inner lesbian was discovered.

We didn’t leave the hotel for the next two weeks and when she asked me to move to Toronto with her I didn’t even say goodbye to Paul. I just took my clothes and a few cd’s and left. It was not one of my best decisions. It had been springtime in Vancouver, but it was most definitely still winter in Toronto. Lisa’s job involved long hours and lots of travel. I wasn’t working and didn’t know anyone else so I had far too much time on my hands. We tried phone sex when she was travelling and she liked me talking her into an orgasm, but she really couldn’t get the hang of talking trash to me. When she was home and we made love she only wanted to do the things she knew she liked and didn’t want to try new things even if it was just to give me pleasure. Once we were settled into a domestic routine I realized that sex did not have the same importance to her as it had to Paul and I.

Eventually out of boredom and frustration I found myself visiting the chat rooms, trolling for cybersex. It wasn’t a big surprise when Paul and I crossed paths again. We were both using different names, but I knew it was him almost right away. We both kept up the charade until we’d finished. He told me how much he missed me and then he asked me to marry him. I was bored and lonely and flattered and horny and most of my friends were married and now I know that these were all really lame reasons to get married, but it all made sense at the time. Six weeks later, with Lisa as my bridesmaid and a dozen friends looking on we tied the knot.

I discovered during my time with Lisa that I sometimes like taking the lead and being the dominate partner during sex, but it never seemed to work when I’d try it with Paul. He was willing enough to give up control; it’s just that the roles we had were so entrenched that we’d both end up feeling foolish. Then one day I told him to put on my panties, he did and Roxanne was conceived. Not that she had a name or personality or was anything at that point, just that if he was wearing a piece of women’s clothing, he was able to act submissive. It was a novelty at first. If one of us wanted to reverse our normal roles, he’d put on panties or stockings and we could do it. One day I came home from work and he was totally decked out in my clothes. He’d stuffed a bra and had on matching panties, garter and stockings, my clingy little black dress and heels. After the initial shock, I had to admit that he looked pretty hot. He’d obviously been practicing the walk and the wiggle. He even had a low sultry voice that he used when he introduced ‘Roxanne’.

After that we started buying clothes, lingerie and other accessories just for her. She still wore mine of course (she liked the smell of my sex) but it was nice for her to have some of her own. Our toy collection also grew and one of our favourite additions was a harness for a strap-on dildo. Not only did this satisfy Roxanne’s very horny ass, it was fun having a cock. I should also mention that soon after buying it we discovered Paul could wear it and fuck me with two cocks, satisfying even more fantasies.

Roxanne didn’t replace Paul; rather she became another partner. Sometimes just a voice mail from her, or an email for her, or reference to her while Paul and I made love. Usually she was the submissive partner in our old tried and true fantasies, but she also provided a way for both of us to express very different desires and I was almost always the one to initiate these. I gave the first golden shower and the first really hard spanking, though the nipple clamps and handcuffs went on me first. I’ve always enjoyed sex during my period, I get so horny and Paul’s cock feels so different. I introduced using it for play when I forced Roxanne to go down on me during a particularly heavy flow. The next month Paul scrawled “SLUT” across my chest in menstrual blood then fucked me hard and fast until I was screaming like a woman possessed. It was one of the rare times that I was able to orgasm with just intercourse.

Up until this point, Roxanne was confined to our home. Some of our fantasies involved her being out and about, but Paul made it clear that’s as far as he wanted to go with it. I admit that I was responsible for Roxanne coming out when she did, but maybe it would have happened anyway. For his birthday, I sent him an e-card telling him he had to go to a certain address to get his present at 1pm and that I’d pick him up there at 6pm. The place I had sent him was a salon that specializes in transformations. I bought fake breasts that attached to his chest and were claimed to be so realistic he could go swimming with them. I also bought all new clothes and lingerie designed specifically for cross-dressers, a long blonde wig and new three inch heels. Enricho would spend the next five hours shaving, waxing, fitting, doing make-up and nails (toes and fingers) and completely transforming my husband Paul into my girlfriend Roxanne.

When I picked her up Enricho was giving her some pointers on how to act more feminine and she was doing a fine job of it. She looked beautiful and classy and I caught myself thinking that I could look that good if I’d had someone give me a five-hour makeover.

The big surprise of the night was our dinner companion. Roxanne didn’t know Lisa was going to be there and Lisa didn’t know anything about Roxanne. I had this perfect evening planned in my head. Lisa would be totally impressed and cool with the whole thing and Paul would finally have the fantasy of having sex with his cousin and I fulfilled. Things did not go according to plan. They looked like sisters and Lisa freaked. She thought we were making fun of her and after making a huge scene in the restaurant she marched out. In an attempt to salvage the evening (I had after all spent a bundle on the make over) we went to another restaurant for dinner then to a club and danced the night away.

That night changed everything. There was more and more Roxanne and less and less Paul. Eventually she decided she was going to be a fulltime she-male and got breast implants and hair extensions. She assured me she wasn’t going to get gender reassignment surgery so anytime I needed a cock, Paul could visit. She really wanted to stay married and couldn’t understand why I had a problem with that. She had absolutely no desire to have sex with men, her orientation wasn’t changing only her outward appearance and since I had been instrumental in that change and I’d lived with a woman who looked very similar why the hell was I being so stubborn now?

She sent me a letter before I got the divorce papers and explained it was just a formality. She was going to have her name legally changed to Roxanne and was just tying up all Paul’s loose ends. She said that she was still loved me and hoped that we could still be friends. She’d started dating again and encouraged me to do the same. She made a little joke about both of us finding our inner lesbian. She sounded happy.